Domestic violence survivors share their stories

SOUTHFIELD — Bright orange T-shirts lit up the municipal lawn Oct. 6 as over 500 participants gathered for the fifth annual Walk to Raise Awareness of Domestic Violence, hosted by the city of Southfield, the Southfield Police and Fire Departments, 46th District Court and community partners.

“All of us are standing here today because it’s not OK to have domestic violence in our community,” Southfield Mayor Ken Siver said. He said that domestic violence is the No. 1 crime in the city of Southfield and that there are calls to the Southfield Police Department reporting domestic violence on a daily basis.

He added that on the Friday and Saturday before the walk, there was a rare occurrence where there were no police runs for domestic violence.

Chief Judge of 46th District Court Sheila Johnson shared that many crimes, such as murder, manslaughter, assault with intent to murder, stalking, and more, are often rooted in domestic violence.

“There is a misdemeanor crime of domestic violence, and so it’s defined as an individual that assaults, or assaults and batters someone. And an assault, obviously, is an attempt to commit a battery or put someone in fear of a battery. And a battery is a forceful, violent touching of a person or something connected to that person. And the next thing is as an element of this crime is that you have to be a spouse, former spouse, have a child in common, be a resident or former resident of a household, or previously had a dating relationship, and that’s it. That is the legal definition of a misdemeanor domestic violence. So, the crime itself is pretty straightforward, but we all know that abuse runs a little bit deeper in the form of intimidation; stalking; verbal, emotional and psychological abuse. There’s so many other misdemeanors and felonies that really have at its origin a domestic relationship.”

Johnson prefaced the statistics she shared from 46th District Court.

“So the statistics that I’m going to give to you today just really encompass the misdemeanor domestic violence, not those other felonies and not those other misdemeanors. So this is a really huge problem, because many of those crimes, as I said, are domestic in origin.”

She shared that from Jan. 1 to Sept. 30 this year, there have been 190 cases of domestic violence misdemeanors, with 130 being males accused of domestic assaults and 60 females accused of the crime.

One case has been found not guilty. Two cases have been found guilty as charged. There have been no jury trials on domestic violence this year.

“We’ve had 29 cases just dismissed flat out, usually because the victim is too afraid to come to court or they change their mind for any number of reasons, even though they may have very well been a victim. We also have some pleas of no contest. We’ve had four where somebody just doesn’t say they did anything, but they’re still convicted. We’ve had the prosecutor just dismiss two cases because they decided they didn’t need to prosecute them. Thirty-eight of them have been pled down or dismissed because of some plea bargain. So we have 73 cases currently pending, and we have 10 felony cases so far that are pending that might be domestic in nature. So this is a big problem in our court.”

Johnson said that this issue is being addressed by employing programs to educate and rehabilitate, such as risk assessments done with the Police Department, where background information is gathered and they provide referral information to HAVEN, Oakland County’s program for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault that provides shelter, counseling advocacy and educational programming to over 30,000 people each year. This is one factor that the court uses to determine the risks involved in setting an appropriate bond and whether the individual should be released back into the community.

Johnson added that the fast-track docket for arraignments and pretrials before the judges allows the case to be adjudicated promptly so that the individuals involved can get the services that they may need if they’re convicted. Johnson also said that there is a 52-week, four-level program in place for abusers called HEAL for Men and WEAVE for Women.

During the event, domestic abuse survivors Casey Anderson and Deodge Hill shared their powerful stories of overcoming abuse.

Anderson shared the story of her late mother, Oakland County Chief Health Officer Calandra Green.

“One afternoon, on May 11, 2023, as I was watching TV, a call forever changed my future. I was summoned to my mother’s home. As I slowly approached my family, confused as to why they were all there, questioning why there were so many police cars, my grandmother came towards me and said, ‘Casey, your mother is not here. She is gone. I am your new mother now.’ I was about to faint. I didn’t understand what was happening. This day will forever be etched in our hearts and minds. This was the day we all became victims of domestic violence.”

Anderson said that her mother was murdered by her stepfather after two years of marriage and that there were no signs of domestic abuse before the murder occurred. She remembers her mother as a “successful, young, beautiful, African American woman who created an impactful legacy before her candle was extinguished” and was the first Black female health officer in Oakland County.

Hill shared that domestic violence doesn’t have a color or class.

As a physician’s assistant, a mother of four, the widow of a fallen police officer and the founder of two nonprofits, PH1LL and I Am With You, Hill shared her story of a three-month relationship that she had in 2018 that inspired her to start a nonprofit dedicated to helping survivors of domestic violence.

“The devil doesn’t come to you with a pitchfork, and he doesn’t come to you with a red suit,” she said. “In a domestic violence situation as well, the guy doesn’t come to you looking like he’s going to abuse you.”

Hill said that when she began this relationship, there were no signs of aggression and her boyfriend was always a gentleman who opened every door for her. However, everything changed one night when he kidnapped her, beat her and held her at gunpoint.

“I was very scared, and the only thing that I could think is, ‘I can’t ever tell anybody about this.’ I was super embarrassed about it. I prayed through the entire situation, because I told God. I said, ‘Look, you have to get me home safe to my kids.’  Because, at first, I was at peace with death. When he first put me in his car, I knew that I was going to die. I was not going to make it. His words to me was, ‘I don’t want to see you with anybody else. This night’s not going to end good, and I’m not going back to prison.’ So I knew what that meant.”

Hill shared how her faith and memorized scripture got her through the night.

After he beat her and drove her to a darker street, she thought it was the end.

“So I knew that my life was ending at that point. I looked at him in his eyes, and I said, ‘You know, I love you, and I care about you. I won’t tell anybody about this, but you gotta get help.’ And whatever that energy force that was in the car, it left. He looked at me, and he said, ‘Oh, my God, I’m so sorry. I think I overreacted. Let me take this gun back.’ I said, ‘OK.’  … We drove to take the gun back, and I survived it.”

Hill said the incident wasn’t what drove her to get away from him afterward. It wasn’t until he choked her that she confided in close friends who encouraged her to leave and arranged for her to stay in Chicago with a friend. She filed a police report before she left and expressed that she was frustrated with how the police didn’t take her seriously until she told them that she was the widow of a fallen officer and a professional with a practice in the area. When she got to Chicago, she realized that she had left her bag at home, which inspired her to start her nonprofit, I Am With You, to help women who leave in the middle of the night and take nothing with them.

She added that she wants the victimizing of the victim to end.

“The problem with people that want to help you — which I know a lot of you are here, and you want to help people — you victimize the victim over and over again. I am still victimized till today. Why? Because people that know my story: ‘We gotta watch what you dating.’ ‘Oh my God. Are you dating again?’ ‘Oh my God. Who are you dating?’ I don’t want to hear that. I don’t want to hear that because I want to always empower and tell the victim that, ‘You did nothing wrong by loving somebody. You did not do anything wrong.’”

For more information on HAVEN, visit haven-oakland.org.

To learn more about the Southfield Domestic Violence Group, visit southfielddomesticviolencegroup.org.

For more information about I Am With You, visit iamwithyouorg.org.