‘I Do Still’

FARMINGTON HILLS — In a ceremony officiated by Farmington Hills Mayor Theresa Rich, nearly 50 couples gathered at the Longacre House in Farmington Hills for the “I  Do Still” vow renewal contest Feb. 14.

The length of marriages ranged from 13 months to 52 1/2 years.  Cumulatively, the group celebrated 1,000 years of marriage and counting.

“To have 1,000 years of marriage represented in the room today says that people have been through some wonderful things together and still choose one another,” Rich said.

The couples reaffirmed their commitment to one another by tying the knot of a blue ribbon around their wrists.

Several couples talked about what made their marriages last. Recurring themes included shared interests, talking to each other, compromise, being polite, and letting things go that really don’t matter.

Farmington Hills residents Bill and Hillary Davis have been married for 31 years. The couple met in 1991 at Vic Tanny, a popular gym and health spa of that era.

“She walked out of the women’s locker room and I saw her. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I said, ‘I’m going to marry that woman right there,’” Bill Davis said.  “Then I had to convince her. I slow walked her down.”

“He’s from Kentucky. I had never heard that term before, ‘Slow walk you down,’” Hillary Davis said, chuckling.

Bill’s “calm and patience” won his wife over.

“Whatever I said, he (would say) OK,” Hillary Davis said.

The two were married in 1993, which is the same year that another couple, former U.S. President Bill Clinton, and his wife, Hillary, began their residence at the White House.

“On television you would hear, ‘Bill and Hillary in 93.’ I said, ‘They’re talking about us,”’ Hillary Davis said.

The couple attributes talking to each other as a key to their 31-year marriage.

“We talk to each other about everything,” Bill Davis said.

In 31 years of marriage, the couple has learned a lot.

Aside from compromising, having a lot of patience, and having dreams and goals, Hillary Davis shared what the couple has learned that would have been helpful to know 31 years ago.

“You need to really love each other,” she said.

Bill Davis agreed.

Former high school sweethearts Frank and Kathy Szyblowski have been married for more than 49 years. After she bought his burgundy 1965 Impala SS, which is a car that he had been working on, he knew that she was the one.

Frank Szydlowski refers to himself as a “car guy.”

“Women who marry car guys are saints,” he said.

“I have spent a lot of time talking to his knees,” Kathy Szydlowski said, referring to when he is working underneath a car.

Like other couples, they also attribute their long marriage to talking things out and compromise.

Although the couple says they don’t argue, they do have a certain way of talking to each other.

“If we do have a problem, we split apart for a couple of hours,” Frank Szydlowski said.

Their advice for couples who hit a rough patch is, “It’s give and take.”

“Work through it. You have to talk. You can’t just ignore it,” Kathy Szydlowski said.

Frank Szydlowski also shared some advice.

“Give it time. It works out,” he said.

According to the mayor, she has officiated 73 weddings and sees each wedding as a new family sprouting up in the community, whether it’s couples in their 20s or in their 70s.

She and her husband, Brian, are going on 33 years of marriage.

When discussing the attributes of a good marriage, the couple provided similar answers.

“Good manners,” the mayor said.  “You still remember to treat your beloved with ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ … Speak kindly to one another.”

Aside from being polite, Brian Rich shared another tip for couples.

“No matter what’s going on there’s no need to go off the rails,” he said. “Work through it.”

Melvin and Maureen Busch were the longest-married couple at the event. The couple has been married for more than 52 years.

According to Maureen Busch, she was 15 and Melvin was 20 when they met.

The two met when Maureen was invited to a girlfriend’s house. The friend was from a family of seven and had an older brother.

Melvin Busch was friends with the older brother.

The couple dated for two years before getting married when she was 17 and he was 22.

“Everybody told us it wasn’t going to work. The priest didn’t want to marry us in the Catholic church because he said it wasn’t going to last,” she said.

Melvin and Maureen Busch were told to go to a justice of the peace to get married,  according to Maureen Busch.

However, she wanted to be married in a Catholic church because she said Catholics were not considered married if they were not married in a Catholic church.

Her mother interceded by talking to higher-ranking church officials.

The parish priest eventually relented and married the couple.

Two grown children and two grandchildren later, the couple thinks about that priest on their wedding anniversary.

Having learned a lot in more than half a century of marriage, Maureen Busch shared the advice that she would pass along to others.

“I think you should make decisions together on the big things, but you have to have your own life too,” she said.

Although couples may find things that they don’t necessarily like about each other, Maureen Busch shared a perspective that can help them work through it.

“Most of the stuff you don’t like about somebody else, you don’t have to sweat it. We’re all different,” she said. “If it is something that is really bad, then you talk about it.”

She was excited about receiving the grand prize, which was a romantic dinner for two at Steven Lelli’s Inn On the Green in Farmington Hills.

“We don’t do that a lot. We usually go with the grandkids or the kids,” Maureen Busch said.

Melvin Busch shared what he attributes to the couple’s 52-year marriage.

“She says as long as I agree with her all the time, it’ll last,” he said.