Best friends in life are celebrated in death

WARREN/DETROIT — Hundreds gathered at Second Ebenezer Church in Detroit Oct. 18 to celebrate the lives of Cedric Antwan Hayden Jr. and DeJuan Kyle Pettis, who were killed when a speeding Warren police SUV crashed into Pettis’ new Dodge Durango.

Hayden, 34, and Pettis, 33, were best friends since they were 12 years old and often referred to themselves as brothers. They were going to Hayden’s home in Warren when the crash happened at 5 a.m. Sept. 30.

“If you were to know Brother Hayden and Brother Pettis, they would want it no other way but to be with one another and to be of support to one another,” the Rev. Tariq Cummings said. “I don’t know about you, but I need a friend like that.”

“We stand at a very unique crossroad but in the midst of our crossroad, I believe that we all would say that we’ve been blessed because these two have been in our life,” Cummings said.

To lighten the somber mood, the minister asked those in attendance to turn to their neighbor and take a minute and tell the “craziest story” they had about Hayden and Pettis, but not to get them in trouble. A buzz of conversation could be heard, and more smiles were seen in the audience.

Family and friends honored both men with their remarks. Cedric was affectionately referred to as “Twan” by many who spoke, and DeJuan as “Juan.”

Hayden worked the afternoon shift at Stellantis. He was also a fashion and shoe designer. His brand was “Fashionable Illness.”

“I’m the fashion and he’s the illness,” said one of Hayden’s older cousins.

Hayden was described as “Warmhearted, with a contagious smile, fun-loving, and the life of the party.” He was deeply family oriented, and his daughters Lynnira, 16, and Sarai, 7, were the center of his life and world.

Hayden and his daughter Lynnira’s mother, Jeanette Taylor, met at Clintondale High School.

“He would always tease me about how I kissed him when we first met without even asking,” Taylor said.

“The last year and a half we got so close, he apologized for all his mess-ups,” she added.

“He became so spiritual; the Lord definitely was preparing him for this day whether we wanted it or not.  He cleaned his mind, body and soul right before our eyes,” she said.

Many who spoke talked about how Hayden had changed his life. He was happy with himself, eating well, drinking sparkling water, carrying crystals and educating his family about the chakras.

Hayden was also described as having a playful nature. His father, Cedric Hayden Sr., told a story that reflected this and their bond.

“He was staying with me. Each night our hours would cross at work and each one would make sure the other one had a meal when they came in,” Hayden Sr. said.

When the senior Hayden came in, Hayden Jr. was laughing and asked his dad, “Did you eat the chicken?”

Hayden Sr. said, “I’m not going to eat the chicken because you’re laughing.”

While this was happening, the father said he smelled cinnamon rolls but didn’t see any in the kitchen. Hayden Jr. kept laughing. Hayden Sr. then took a bite of the chicken, and his son asked, “Is it good?

“No,” Hayden Sr. said.

“It was my secret ingredient,” Hayden Jr. said.

“Your secret ingredient? Why did you put it on my food?” Hayden Sr. said. “He put cinnamon on the chicken.”

“We sat in the kitchen and kept laughing,” Hayden Sr. added. “I gave him all the chicken and ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”

Pettis worked the afternoon shift at General Motors. He picked up his new Dodge Durango just a few weeks ago.

He was described in his obituary as, “A man of great integrity and whose strength of charter left an incredible mark on all who knew him. A dedicated father of two beloved sons, Devin (9) and DeJuan, Jr. (7).”

“Throughout his life DeJuan embodied the value of hard work, integrity and compassion. His legacy is not measured by the accomplishments he gathered, but by the profound impact he had on the people he encountered. To know him was an experience of rare and genuine kindness, a heart open to all, and a spirit of unwavering optimism,” Maurice Jones said.

“Though our hearts ache with his passing, we find comfort in the lessons he taught us, the love he shared, and the example he set.  His memory will forever be cherished,” Jones added.

Pettis attended Denby High School in Detroit where he remained friends with many of his classmates. His high school friend, Reggie Carr, described Pettis as soft-spoken but as someone who would always get noticed because he was funny.

Carr told a story about how it was a trend in their high school for some groups to pick on kids who were seen as vulnerable.

“Somebody came up to Juan and said, ‘Go beat him up.’ Juan turned to him and said, ‘How about I beat you up?’ That was one of the most memorable things about his character,” Carr said. “That is the mindset of a leader. That’s what I remember about Juan.”

Carr spoke about the “responsible man” Pettis had become. He said he does not live in the area, but had heard reports that Pettis’ mother, Charisse Brown said, “Every time I would see my son, he would look me in the eye and say I’m going to take care of you.”

Carr said that was a part of Pettis he did not see when they were 13 and 14 years old, “Because boys wanted to be tough.”

Many spoke about how the two men were loved, how they will be missed, and how their light will never dim.

“Gone too soon,” was repeated throughout the service.