Theresa Toia, founder of Friends of Foster Kids, second from left, meets with her “angels,” as she calls her volunteers.
By: Andy Kozlowski | C&G Newspapers | Published March 16, 2025
MACOMB COUNTY — Through no fault of their own, kids in foster care grow up without the love of a parent or familiarity of a home. Many bounce from place to place, rejected by their caretakers.
“I had one girl who was moved 62 times between the ages of 12 and 18,” said Theresa Toia, founder of Friends of Foster Kids, a nonprofit in Macomb County. “When they’re placed, if the family feels it’s not a good fit, they can just request they’re removed. And after they turn 12, they’re far less likely to be adopted — those kids may never find a permanent home environment.”
Without anyone to guide them, those aging out of the system find themselves greatly disadvantaged in life. Countless studies show a correlation between time spent in foster care and homelessness, unemployment, substance abuse, early parenthood and mental health issues.
Forced out into the world upon reaching adulthood, they’re left to fend for themselves without any relatives to help them. Many don’t know how to buy groceries, Toia said, let alone manage their bank accounts, credit score, documents, a lease, or a job to pay the bills.
“The tragedy is there is so much instability in their lives. Even the caseworkers they know growing up are always changing, moving into different positions,” Toia said. “There’s such a huge turnover in employment of caseworkers, which I’m sure is due to stressors — all the pressure put on them by government reporting, and what they see and have to do.
“As a result, many older children form behavioral issues and end up in facilities,” she said. “Just imagine having all this shoved down your throat as a young adult. That’s why so many age out. They figure they will have a better shot out there trying to make life on their own. So, they go to court and apply for emancipation — that’s becoming a free adult person, as early as 16 years old. But they still don’t know how to live independently.”
‘The statistics are staggering’
According to the National Foster Youth Institute, about 50% of the homeless population has spent time in foster care. About 25% of youth who were in foster care at age 17 and surveyed at 21 said they had been homeless at some point in the last two years.
Those aging out of the system are at highest risk. Up to 36% of them become homeless during the transition to adulthood, per the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health.
Disruptions to education are also common — the result of constantly readjusting to new homes or schools, and trying to process the stress and trauma that comes with it.
According to the National Center for Education Statistics, just 71% of youth who were in foster care at age 17 earned their high school diploma or GED by 21, compared to nearly 90% for the general high school population.
Another study by the KIDS COUNT Data Center showed that 20% of youth in foster care at 17 and surveyed at 21 had not earned an educational degree, diploma, certificate or license of any kind.
Young people with foster care experience are also more likely to become early parents compared to their peers. Around 22% of those in foster care at 17 and surveyed at 21 had welcomed a child in the last two years, compared to 6% for the general population, according to KIDS COUNT.
The same research group found that just 56% of youth in foster care at 17 were currently employed part-time or full-time at 21. They also found that 16% of young adults with foster care experience have been incarcerated in the last two years.
Another study, by the U.S. Department of Justice, found that nearly 20% of state prisoners and nearly 10% of federal prisoners have spent time in foster care.
Substance abuse is another issue. A study by the Journal of Adolescent Health showed youth in foster care were twice as likely to engage in illicit drugs, five times as likely to be drug dependent, and up to four times as likely to have other substance use disorders.
“The statistics are staggering,” Toia said. “Things need to change.”
Spreading happiness and hope
It was right after Christmas in 2005 when Toia’s daughter Jessica — then a caseworker for foster kids in Macomb County — made a fateful observation.
“She told me that for the second year in a row, due to the economic downturn, none of the kids in her caseload received anything for Christmas. And I said, ‘Oh my god, Jessica, that can’t happen.’ She said, ‘What are you going to do, Mom — buy them all a gift?’ And actually, we tried to do just that. My friends and I decided to sponsor children and build them a Christmas,” Toia said.
For that first holiday season in 2006, Toia and company arranged gifts for about 50 kids.
“I went to drop off those stacks of gifts at the county, so the caseworkers could bring them to the children, when the supervisor wished there were more parents like us. I said we’ll just do this every year, and that’s when I was told these weren’t even all the ones in the county — there were almost 900 that year. So we knew we had to change things,” she said.
What began as an operation out of Toia’s home quickly expanded into its own location in Sterling Heights, and recently Shelby Township where it continues today. Friends of Foster Kids filed for nonprofit status in 2008 and was approved in 2011.
In addition to the Christmas gifts, the group manages Hats Off To Grads, a program that provides older foster kids with furniture, appliances and other items for their home, as well as any supplies they may need for school or work.
Both programs start by collecting information such as the recipient’s first name, gender, age, ethnicity — since young girls often like to have dolls that look like them, Toia said — clothing sizes, favorite color, whether any siblings were placed with them, and any special needs, as well as their interests and hobbies. The recipients also share three wishes.
The sponsors are asked about their preferences and price range, and then a match is made. The sponsor delivers the items to the Friends of Foster Kids site in Shelby Township, and the group takes it from there, ensuring the gifts reach the recipient, wherever they may be.
For the kids, the Christmas program can be the highlight of their year, Toia said. And for the adults in Hats Off To Grads, the donations can be life-changing.
“Some of them are moving into a career they’ve already started working in, like one man who was going to be a bricklayer and was asking for items like steel-toed shoes, knee pads, specific trowels he needed, 5-gallon buckets. Or the young lady who was going into nursing school who needed non-slip nursing shoes, scrubs, a stethoscope. There were specific things they needed and couldn’t afford, and this allowed them to pursue their careers,” Toia said.
‘You want to do more’
Amy Sheehan began volunteering with Friends of Foster Kids about 15 years ago. She started out wrapping gifts, and later coordinated fundraisers and applied for grants.
“Once you’ve done one thing, you want to do more — you see the need and the effect it has, and you just naturally gravitate,” Sheehan said.
She said donations are critical.
“It makes a huge difference for us. Unlike a widget shop, we don’t build anything to sell, so we have to rely on the generosity of others, whether it’s someone dropping off coats or running a fundraiser on our behalf,” Sheehan said. “We rely on the goodwill of people to help the kids.”
Currently, Friends of Foster Kids has more than 6,000 names on its email list and more than 1,000 volunteers lined up to wrap gifts. Its social media presence includes Facebook and Instagram. Supporters can also donate items through the organization’s wish list on amazon.com.
There are other ways to help as well. Toia described how an orthodontist donated his time giving a girl braces that cured her migraines caused by misaligned teeth. The group has CPAs who help young adults budget and file taxes. There are even lawyers who volunteer to watch the courts and help teens resolve any legal issues they have.
“We’re currently building a mentoring team, recruiting individuals from the community to use their skills to benefit the foster kids directly,” Toia said. “We’re trying to help the foster kids gain all of the life skills they need moving forward.”
To sponsor a child for the Christmas program or Hats Off To Grads, or to inquire about joining the mentoring team or other ways to help, call (586) 307-4438, or email info@friendsoffosterkids.org. To donate, mail checks made payable to “Friends of Foster Kids” to 51341 Celeste Drive, Shelby Township, MI 48315. More information is available at friendsoffosterkids.org.