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From one mom to another ...
Published May 8, 2013
At C & G Newspapers, we know there’s no better advice than the words of wisdom that come from moms. In honor of Mother’s Day, we asked moms in our coverage area to share their two cents that they’d like to pass along to other moms. We’ve included our favorite tips here, along with the winning entry of the “From One Mom to Another …” contest, from Amanda Eckman, of Shelby Township.
Eckman will be treated to brunch and a family four-pack of tickets to the Palladium 12 theater in downtown Birmingham.
“Always remember to take time for yourself! You may be a mother, but you are also an individual. It’s far too easy to lose sight of that very important fact while trying to meet your family’s needs and wants. Love yourself! You are amazing!”
“My words of wisdom come from my four kids continuously asking me for playdates, outings with friends or money-related activities. The phrase, ‘Let me think about it,’ gives me time to think of all the pros and cons of each request. I used to answer all their questions with a quick yes or no, which led to tears, objections or regret on my part. My kids accept this answer and they know I am giving their request some serious thought.”
“Keep love in your heart, grace in your spirit, a sense of humor in your pocket and a chocolate bar tucked away in the pantry. Motherhood: you got this!”
“Always be your child’s advocate. No one will look out for your child as well as you. Remember this and always place their feelings and positions first, when appropriate. Encourage, congratulate and discipline with your best intentions in mind at all times. Show love and give love unceasingly to develop self-confidence and humility. Then, change all the rules when they become teenagers! Anything goes then!”
St. Clair Shores
“Talk less and listen more. If you’re too busy lecturing, you may miss something very important.”
“Remember yesterday with pride (no matter the mistakes or shortcomings). Live today with enthusiasm (attitudes are contagious). Look to tomorrow with confidence (you’re the best you can be).”
“I used to take my kids to the book store once a week when they were little. I would order one small pot of tea in the café with three espresso cups, and we would have a tea party. I never made my kids read, but made it a special privilege instead. When it was bed time and they wanted to stay up longer, I “allowed” them to stay up a little longer to read. Today, they are both in college on academic scholarships. My younger daughter is studying Irish literature for a semester in Ireland on a full scholarship. They still love to read and it’s making a difference in their lives. So, my advice is don’t ever force your kids to read; instead, teach them to LOVE to read.”
“My best advice (from) one mom to another would be: cherish every moment. As a mom, it is hard not to voice our opinion. Your child only has one communion, one eighth-grade dance, one prom, one graduation, one day to leave for college, one first wedding, one baby shower. Don’t ruin any of these days for him/her by having to give your opinion when not wanted. Be happy for your child when they are happy and be a place to fall when they aren’t.”
“1. Train up a child in the way of the Lord and when he gets older he will not depart from them.
2. Always pray for your children that the good Lord Jesus will guide their footsteps.
3. Always speak life over your child and keep them from negative words.
4. And last but not least, when all else fails, stand and stand with God on your side!”
“I am a mother of three sons and know that, outside of life itself, our children are the most precious gift that, we will ever receive! Cherish each and every moment with them and don’t let a day go by without letting them know how very much they are loved. Tomorrow is never promised for any of us. I tell my boys, ‘I love you and have a good day,’ every morning when they get out of the car for school, then again say, ‘I love you,’ as I tuck them in at night (along with a kiss on the forehead). I think if they always know how much they mean to their mom, they will grow up and share the same love with others. They learn from us and we should always lead by example of how to treat others. Happy Mother’s Day, and may you all have a very special day with the ones who mean the world to us … our children.”
“Have fun with your kids, laugh with them, make memories.”
“Believe in miracles when things (go) wrong, as they sometimes will do, or an obstacle suddenly pops into view. You’ve got to believe this is merely a stop and eventually you’re bound to come out on top — so whatever you do, just don’t quit!”
“1) ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff. Look at the bigger picture.’
2) ‘Enjoy your kids before life passes you buy.’
3)’Live in the Moment; not in the Future.” and “Have a Happy Day’
4) ‘Extra Ingredient when Baking – Add Love.’
5) ‘When you feel down (sad), angry, frustrated, or ?, say a prayer to God.’
These were all words of wisdom that helped me raise my 20 year old daughter on my own and now in process of raising a wonderful son who is now 3 months old with my spouse. Thanks Mom. You live in our memory every day.”
“Be a mom 1st and a friend 2nd to your child!”
“Webster defines a mother as a woman in authority. So many mothers say that they are their children's best friend. I say that this is an impossible feat because a best friend doesn't have authority over her children and a best friend does not have to do what a mother has to do to raise her children properly. A mother has to discipline her children when they do something wrong. A best friend does not. A mother is responsible for her children's actions. A best friend is not responsible. Speaking here to all mothers. Have you ever gotten angry at your best friend? Maybe! However, I would venture to say you got angry at your mother every time she said "NO" to something you wanted to do. My best advice to all mothers is to love your children, be your children’s mother and let their friends be their best friends. As a mother of five, all over fifty except for one, even today, I continue to love my children, I am still their mother, not their best friend and I will never regret being their MOTHER!”
Delphine J. Pazin
“I vividly remember my mother having several “Motherly Words of Wisdom” that shaped me into the woman I am today. One of my favorite sayings is “A smile will take you a loooong way in life”- meaning a smile on your face will show others the better in you… regardless of your feelings or situation. My second favorite saying is “Work with what the good Lord gave you” – meaning we all are different, but uniquely made by our creator. There’s no need for cosmetic modifications with your body or looks that’s not already lovely in the eyes of the beholder. And finally, the best if not the most meaningful for me is that “Don’t let nobody come between you and your blood”- meaning family and the love you have in your family is far more important than anything else.
My mom is gone home to Glory!! But what she said and how she trained and treated me and my siblings growing up has truly been an asset in my life. I’m oh so grateful to have had her as my mother.”
“Whether it be children or grandchildren they grow up too fast. When I see new moms, I tell them to enjoy their children because they grow up too fast.
Children are born. They attend pre-school, kindergarten, grade school, middle school, high school and college. Before you know it they get married and have children of their own. You look back and wish those days were back again to enjoy and cheer them on at their soccer games, basketball games or baseball games, to praise them for their achievements in school or to admire them when they attend their prom.
I have three sons-ages 44, 42 and 35. I look back when they were young. We did many things together but could have done more. Yes, indeed they grew up too fast.”
Joann S. Ozog
“To always remember the gift you've been given by ‘GOD’ to be able to birth someone into this world. Know that it is a blessing not only to receive, but to be able to conceive. For every life that is brought into this world; there's a reason why: God knows why; Therefore, to all the beautiful mothers out there, whether you planned life or it happened without announcement, know that you are special, you are the one chosen by ‘GOD’ to continue life's blessing. Know that this type of blessing is a special blessing; one that not everyone can be blessed to have. Therefore, the next time someone ask you how are you doing? Tell them" I'm blessed and highly favored". From one mother to another, children are a blessing from above; realize that having this special ability from The "Lord" above makes you the richest person in the world. Continue to count your blessings and be thankful for all you have. May ‘GOD’ bless all the beautiful mothers in the world today and yesterday.”
“When my children were young, we watched a video that dealt with stranger danger. I came up with the idea to have a ‘secret’ word which only our immediate family would know. If either of my children were approached by someone they didn't know (even a policeman or person who said that they were sent by myself or my husband to pick them up, take them home, bring them to us, etc.) they were to ask for the secret word. If the person couldn't come up with the word, the children were to run and yell ‘stranger!!!’ Periodically we asked the kids what the secret word was, and we reinforced our message. I've passed this idea on to many of our friends and relatives, and now that I'm about to be a first time grandma, I will encourage my daughter and son-in-law to continue this new family tradition.”
“Take digital photos of every masterpiece your kids bring home through the years and then upload to a digital frame which will cycle through projects and constantly remind you of your little artist. This will save tons of space versus saving every creation they bring home.”
“Be a role model for your child. Be active with your child. Talk with your child. Be supportive for your child. Help them to be independent individuals. Make sure you attend every teacher/parent meeting. Encourage them to be active in school and the community. Volunteer with them to show how to give back. Always be there for them when they need you!”
St. Clair Shores
“Every mom has to decide her course, and I think for me it’s based on your temperament. I’m a mom of three—(ages) 5,7,19 and recently a solo mom. It relatively is not a great situation, but I feel my history with my kids has made this transition temperament a bit easier. What (do) I mean by temperament? Take on only what you can, but make a plan and stick to it. Life in general is hard—kids or not. If (you’re) ‘grounded’ as a mom or person, your children will feel it (the security, the unspoken love.) Even in the most difficult times, and in the end it all works out in the way it was intended (to.) (And maybe a lesson learned.”
“I’m what you would refer to as a special mom with a special son, named Paul. Mothers who have children or adults with ‘special needs’ are all around us. These children or adults need some kind of help most of their life.
Children with special needs attend school just like everyone else, as they are capable of being educated—just at a slower pace.
My son, Paul, can make his bed, vacuum, ride a bike, swim, and shows a friendly personality.
Life hasn’t always been easy for him, but somehow he has done well.
Patience and unconditional love have been my motto.
It isn’t easy to be a mother, and the challenges are great. As a mom I’ve made mistakes, but I’m human, so that is expected.
One thing both my son and I have learned is to ‘get back on that horse’ and try again.
Paul will be 40 years of age this year. As my husband (deceased) always said of our son, Paul, he is the most pleasant human being to be around. I agree. I couldn’t ask for anything better.
These are my words of wisdom for any mom. Never give up on your children. They are the future.
P.S. Paul resides in a S.I.P. through M.O.R.C. Macomb Oakland Regional Center. He is safe and happy there.”
Mary Lou Hamlin
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